The Menu Tonight is HOT!
The Menu Tonight is HOT!
It never occurred to me that perhaps our family celebrated holidays more than the rest of the world did. In our lives, as soon as one holiday wrapped up, another one was just around the corner.
Some holidays were ‘kid-driven’, festive events like Christmas, Halloween, and our birthdays. These were events when the excitement swirling in all us kids was so intense that the event guaranteed to be celebrated full-force.
Then there were the ‘Mom-driven’ holidays. These were holidays much of the rest of the world ignored. Yet as a direct result of Mom’s inspiration, we Quinn kids learned to celebrate them. Yes, without our mom, those ‘minor’ holidays would have slipped by unnoticed. Thanks to her, our family and many friends have all been imprinted with some very unique holiday memories.
Such was the day when my friend Bonnie gave me a ride home from high school. I met Bonnie in seventh grade when my Catholic school closed and I was integrated into the public school system. We were both in band, and became good friends. It turned out that Bonnie was a dental patient of my Dad, and she had known him for several years.
During high school, I shared a carpool with several friends. We rotated between Sharon driving a big green tank of a car that only a nun could love; Scott piloted a rocket ship disguised as a Ford Bronco; me behind the wheel of Ralph the Jeep; and Bonnie occasionally at the controls of the red and white Volkswagen van known as the Bettymobile. The carpool rule was that you had to be ready, because the vehicles barely stopped when kids loaded up or were dropped off.
One particular afternoon, I had a book that Bonnie needed. I was the last one to be dropped off, so when the Bettymobile pulled up to our house, I invited Bonnie to come inside.
A single step inside the front door threw us into the usual whirl of activity caused by everyone going about their daily routine. When Bonnie and I rounded a corner by the built-in telephone desk, we found my very modest, extremely conservative Mom busy cooking.
“Well hi! You must be Bonnie. It’s so nice to meet you!” Mom was her ever-pleasant self.
“Uh, hi.” Bonnie was never the least bit shy, but could only muster a primitive grunt. Bonnie had never met my Mom until that very moment.
Maybe it was the blond wig. It could have been the white Go-Go boots that were far below the hemline of the tight mini skirt Mom was wearing. Neither Bonnie nor I could tell what was cooking, but one thing was clear — the main dish looked pretty hot!
My Mother, in her ever-classy style, extended her hand to shake Bonnie's. Mom’s freshly painted red fingernails sparkled. The huge collection of rings, bracelets, and necklaces she was wearing rustled seductively when she moved. Whenever Mom smiled, a thick layer of bright red lipstick framed her teeth. As I moved closer, I had a flashback from my Montana history class. The thick mascara and layers of makeup Mom was wearing was exactly what General George Custer must have seen when Sitting Bull and his Braves charged in wearing their best war paint.
Since the day we met in junior high school, Bonnie had never been at a loss for words. However, on this afternoon she was speechless. I ran downstairs, grabbed Bonnie’s book, then hustled upstairs to usher her outside. I wanted her gone before the ‘homebound hussy’ who was cooking in our kitchen could engage her in more conversation.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Bonnie,” I choked out once we got outside. “Are you driving tomorrow? Or is Sharon?”
Bonnie stared. She didn’t answer my questions. It was clear that meeting my mother on that April Fools’ Day afternoon had made an impression. It has also answered some of Bonnie’s own questions.
When she reached to open the VW van, Bonnie’s eyes were wide open.
“Well,” she said as she opened the Bettymobile, “NOW I finally understand why your family has nine kids!”